I pick up this list on someone's blog and I had to underline the things among these which I have done. So here is my list(only the underlined part)

1. Smoked before
2. Drunk alcohol before
3 Slept with someone the opposite sex.
4.Slept with someone the same sex.
5. Gotten into any fights with siblings
6. Kissed someone of the opposite sex
7. Kissed someone of the same sex
8. Had someone in your room of the opposite sex
9. – underlines being a dick so i skip this question
10. Bought porn
11. Take drugs before medicine
12. Hate going to the doctor’s (nah, they make me better )
13. Lied to your parents
14. Lied to a friend back then
15. Snuck out of the house
16. Done something illegal.
17. Cut yourself
18. Hurt someone
19. Wished someone to die
20. Seen someone die
21. skippp
22. Stayed up all night
23. Eaten a carton of ice cream
24. Been to a therapist
25. Been to a rehab
26. Dyed your hair
27. Received a ticket
28. Been in a wreck
29. Been to a club
30. Been to a bar for the sake of gambling and drinking some stuff
31. Been to a wild party
32. Seen the Mardi Gras (whats that?)
33. Had a fight
34. Had a spring break
35. Sniffed anything
36. Wore black nail polish
37. Wore wristbands
38. Wore black eyeliner
40. Did not own a 50 cent cd
41. Hugged someone of the opposite sex
42. Hugged someone of the same sex
44. Gone out with someone of the opposite sex
45. Stole Something
46. Been too drunk to remember anything.
47. Blacked out
48. Fainted
49. Had a crush on your neighbour
51. Snuck into someone elses room.
52. Had a crush on someone of the same sex
53. Had gone and watched movies with friends
55. Been called a slut
56. Called someone a slut
57. Installed speakers in your car
58. Broke a mirror
61. Consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62. Seen an R rated movie in theaters
63. Gone out with friends to the mall
64. Skipped school
65. Had an eating disorder
66. Had hurt yourself before
67. Gone to court
68. Walked out of a restaurant without paying
69. Caught something on fire
70. Lied about your age
71. Owned an apartment
72. Cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73. Cheated with someone
74. Got in trouble with the police
75. Talked to a stranger
76. Hugged a stranger
77. Kissed a stranger
78. Rode in the car with a stranger
80. Been verbally harassed
81. Met face to face with someone you met online
82. Stayed online for 12 hours
83. Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
84. Watched TV for 12 hours straight
85. Been to a fair?
86. Been called a bad influence
87. Cursed
88. Prank called someone
89. Laid in bad with someone of the opposite sex.
90. Cheated on a test
91. Cheated on homework
92. Held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93. Wanted to be dead before
94. Cut yourself before
95. Hate yourself sometimes
96. Had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97. *NOT VALID* (?)
98. Worn eyeliner
99. Skinny dipped
100. Laughed at someone who was seriously hurt

Prerogative... not fundamental

An incredible thing happened today. Somehow it is connected to a larger subject shared by many of my fellow city residents. I am talking about the impudence of the auto rickshaw drivers of Mumbai city. The auto rickshaw drivers have made it a habit to 'pick' the fare as per their own convenience, i.e. whether going to that location would fetch them enough dough or not. Whenever there is an outstation train arriving, the auto-drivers will never let nearby passengers into their vehicle as they plan to target long distance fares for big bucks. Despite the fact that it is illegal to decline any person from hiring an auto for a ride, they still shamelessly refuse and brazenly break the law.

But more importantly, people let them defy the laws because most of the people are tolerant of such insolent attitude of the auto drivers. City residents, despite their vexation, just ignore this practice (like they do with many other anti-social activities).

So this is what happens...

I injury my right foot in Martial arts training. After emerging from a half an hour journey in the jam packed compartment of local train, I managed to limp my way to towards the auto rickshaw stand. I was really not up to walking all the way home (as I usually do). I tried to hire a Auto-rickshaw at rush hour. The results were obvious. The drivers declined. After some time I made up my mind and got into a vacant rickshaw and told him to take me home. They driver refused and asked me to get down.

I had no appetite for further tribulations on my foot, and I made up my mind to argue with this guy (argue over my fundamental right of an auto-fare) till I possible could. Maybe, I thought I could get lucky and this guy would agree to take me home after being irritated. To be honest, I am not much of guy to get into wordy fights, and I don't have the necessary skills need to argue in a high pitched voice.

But the auto driver was adamant, and in no mood to co operate. Just then a guy emerged from the crowd. From his face I could speculate that he had some fight at the office, and was not in the right frame of mind... not to mention the local train travel had already taken its toll on his calm. He looked as if he was seriously pissed. (Let us called him Mr. Joe) He too, like me, asked a couple of auto-drivers if they'd drop him home, and after being declined each time, noticed me arguing with my auto-driver. He soon realized what the apple of discord was. The next moment Mr. Joe is besides me in the auto-rickshaw. And he says to me, "Now look kid... this guy is gonna drop you at your place first and then take me home. Just watch."

The auto-driver had too much of an argument. He cut off his engine and folded his arms and replied in a defiant voice, "I ain't going anywhere". And then...

Mr. Joe got down the vehicle, and grabed the driver's collar with his left hand. At the same time he reached the ignition with his right arm and pulls of the auto-rickshaw keys. He then asked the driver for his license. The driver already at his limits, broadened his chest to counter Mr. Joe, and said, "Kya dadagiri hai?" (trying to bully me?)

And then Mr. Joe began. He uttered the worst kind of expletives from all corners of the country. And his voice articulation was just amazing, as if he was possessed by Hitler's spirit. In a overwhelmingly aggressive attitude, Mr. Joe censured the driver in public, accusing him of fraud, nuisance to public, thievery, torment to the city locals, and several other misdeeds. I expected the auto drivers around us to come to the defense of that driver, but they were too flabbergasted to get involved. The people waiting at the nearby bus stand also joined in the castigation, scaring off any possible reinforcements for the auto-driver. Even a bunch of cops who stood by the stand didnt dare interrupt Mr. Joe, such was his aggressive display of wrath.

The driver now, as if a mouse, started begging Mr. Joe to let him go. He wasn't worried about our destination now. All he cared for was his health. After some more threatening he was forced into the driver's seat by Mr. Joe, and ordered to start the auto. The guy did so unconditionally. I was going home finally.

The people who had joined the fight were delighted with the outcome, even though they had nothing to gain. I was pleased with myself for having ignited the whole thing.

I later thought about the whole thing and came to a conclusion. We cannot enjoy many of our basic rights, not because of culprits like that auto driver, but because either we are ignorant of their wrong doings or we dont have what it takes to claim our rights. To put it in better words, we citizen have fundamental rights, but on paper. Practically, only those who are up to the task of fighting for their own welfare are the ones who enjoy their citizenship. Not many people have this ability to be steadfast and stand up for what rightly belongs to them. Hence, these fundamental rights are in a real sense no at all fundamental but prerogative for the immovables (like Mr.Joe) who have the courage to face the culprits.


Now I have made up my mind to be ever antipathetic the notoriety of auto-drivers, and I wont be taking any shit from them again. I may not be able to put forth a performance like Mr. Joe did, but I wont stand down.

The best thing I could do about it...

The Istri-wala (the person who irons clothes) came home today with my 15 ironed clothes, to my utter surprise. I never have 15 clothes to iron in one day (He was looking at me with some kind of disgust). I opened the bag and to my embarrassment noticed how they were fifteen. There were 4 shirts and two pants as usual. But the reason why he had looked at me with disgust was... It also contained four of my underwear, two pair of socks and three boxers.


I realized later that it was me who handed him that bag yesterday. I suppose I must have absentmindedly put those underpants and socks in the bag.

IMAGINE! PAYING A PERSON TO IRON YOUR UNDERWEAR AND SOCKS!!! And the guy did have enough nerve to actually iron them and charge me for that, 2 bucks each.

What was my reaction? I was laughing my ass off for several minutes. I myself couldn't believe how such a miserable dullard I actually was. Though I must admit, I had a good time laughing about it, so it guess it was a good thing.

It reminded me of an old quote from the famous thriller, 'The eagle has landed' by Jack Higgins. The book depicts the story of one of the most satirical characters from Higgins' arsenal... Liam Devlin. Devlin is a Irish national who, by a series of complicated maneuvers faced while working for IRA ends up finally in Adolf Hitler special commando team. When asked by his fellow Germans about his life, he says...


"My life is a big joke... and so, I decided that the beast thing I could do about it is laugh."

...

Krav Maga

After resorting to subterfuge in an attempt to get away from confronting muscles few weeks ago, I realized how weak I actually was. And that enlightened me on how ignorant I had been of many less endearing prospects in my life up till now, despite already knowing a handful I had been attributed with. It pissed me off big time and I still haven't been able to shake off the deep and lengthy hangover of that incident which brought out the coward in me. It was then that I decided to learn self defense. Easier said than done. My days in military school were not devoid of self defense training, and I knew very well that all the popular martial arts demanded a lot of time and dedication to be spend upon to get to the level where you can be confident of confronting most of the muscular obstacles you could possibly face. In fact six years to be precise. I don't have that kind of patience. Despite knowing that I did an online search for martial arts training in my area.

It was then that I learned that Martial arts had undergone a major shift in training since the last five years. Earlier martial arts were taught in specific styles like Judo, Kung fu, Juijutsu, Taekwondo, White Fujian Crane and many more, with each style having its own philosophy and jargon. Half the time in training was spent on something called 'Kanta', which pupils had to master if they wanted to progress to the next belt. 'Kanta' which literally translated means a dance, is a huge waste of time, and a sham on the part of trainers just to stress over the philosophy of that particular style. It is quite useless in real life self defense, and can take a lot of time to learn, even possibly consume more time than the actually training. Not to mention that each style had many perfectly valid but strictly forbidden moves which is a big disadvantage in real life scenarios... For example the infamous groin kick or testicle kick. And then there were stupid theory exams.

However lately, for the great and the good, people have had it with all the kantas nd shitty Japanese lexicon, like using 'Ich, ni, san shri.... yemei' instead of just using the words 'One, two, three... stop', just to sound cool. It the world of modern martial arts now. With pupil only being taught what is important, and movements and techniques borrowed from various styles together and fused together to train youngsters faster with 'kick ass' approach from trainers, it also includes training for all age groups. I was really convinced that I had to get started with it.

And then one of my friend told me of Krav Maga. An Israeli art of self defense, which perhaps in terms of its uses and efficiency is the world most efficient way to learn, practice, develop and implement in realistic scenarios in life. Krav Maga is Hebrew word for 'close combat'. Krav Maga is the official self defense technique for Israeli State police and defense forces, and lately its popularity is rising meteorically in the west. It includes a lot of dirty tricks and several moves which are illegal in other styles, but all of those moves are pertaining to real life scenarios. After reading more about it I just knew from within that there was no way I was gonna miss out on this.

IKMF Logo

And so I joined the Krav Maga coaching this weekend and had my first two training sessions. And here's the story...

Just as I had read, this definitely wasn't a kind of martial arts you could teach kids. The training involved a lot of exercises which have to sole purpose of draining your body of almost all your energy, pushing your stamina to your limits, until you can hardly stand on your feet. This isn't warm up. Its ten times more exertion than that. The exercise lead me to total physical exhaustion, although being a new comer, I was exhausted much earlier than the other members. After being exhausted you begin with the training. Unlike other techniques which make you spend a lot of days, and even months, in practicing and memorizing all the moves before facing actual combat, Krav Maga begins with combat right from day one, with different type of moves being taught while you are being continuously attacked from all sides.

Whats more? You train with your shoes on, since in real life scenarios, no one is going to take off their shoes before having a go at you. most of my training for the past two days revolved around fending off attacks from the offender for quite a while. But the one that got me was to defend yourself from attacks when in dip position (after a while your just cant stand the weight of your body being shifted from elbow to the other at a great speed). It was followed by conditioning exercises, which involves in letting you take the beating on different parts of your body to get the feel of being knocked. They called it 'conditioning your body to attacks'.


In brief, the last two days were very physical for me, and more so as I am not quite a gym follower. All the joint and muscles in my body are paining even as I write this post (aaow). But I feel a lot better from within now. The whole point of going through all the rough physical training is to make sure that you repeat the moves so many times in practice, that all those Krav Maga moves become second nature to you.

The environment there is quiet healthy, and those guys have all the necessary equipment for training. The fellow students of the IKMF(International Krav Maga Federation) are quite healthy looking guys, and quite experienced, considering they joined earlier than me, and probably all of them are elder to me. They are peple from various professions... soft engineers, traders, businessmen, etc.

Thankfully there are no good looking girls at IKMF, which is a big relief for me. Lately, due to my excessive sexual frustration, I have become a total pervert these days and the presence of attractive women would not only have made it harder for me to concentrate but would also have made me unnecessarily self-conscious.

The coach told me that it will take me a while(year or more) to be so proficient in Krav Maga so as to knock any goddamn opponent out for sure. But with two-three months of dedicated training, I can at least assure myself that I would never need to back down if I ever come across some broad chested muscular sonofabitch in my way. But once I feel confident enough to harness the art, I am most certainly going to experiment it.

I am going to provoke some random Bhaiyya (bihari), and then beat him up some day to test my skills. No offense meant for the bhojpuri community, and I have no sympathy for Raj Thackeray either. But the biharis must accept that some members of their community are indeed a nuisance to Mumbai, and deserve some good bit of punishment. They are a glutton for punishment. But the most important reason for my choice of biharis as my first guinea pig for trying out Krav Maga is that, one can safely assume that Bhaiyyas cant know any kind of self defense techniques or martial arts to counter me.

Coconuts

We know that some superhero movies based on comics suck like anything. I mean If you have watched The Hulk and Superman, you would know what crap I am talking. Nevertheless, compared to superhero films from Indian cinema , they seem to be quite something. It not that they aren’t a sample of poor imagination, but just that their Indian counterparts are worst in terms of creativity.

Almost 99% of the stunts and the concept in Indian film are copies. For example, Krishh, India’s first modern day superhero film, and a super-hit one as well. The concept is copied from Ben Affleck's Paycheck, and they have given the protagonist some superpowers to combat his opponents, to turn it into a superhero movie. And of course they have added the regular ‘masala’ or spice, which a common term for hindi movie contents like songs (where people dance to convey how stupid they are), along with a love story (without which the film won’t attract any viewers, though I don’t know why the viewers in India are so shy so as to cull sex scenes, if they a make much ado about love stories).

The only genuine part of Krishh was the way in which the Superhero does his super-stuff. This guy doesn’t cast webs like Spiderman or fly straightway like Superman. He rides an invisible bicycle in air, or perhaps he can fly, but he thinks, he looks cool by pretending to ride an invisible bicycle while flying. Such a piece of shit was a box office hit in India. In other words, you get the idea that a man can sell any junk in this country.

To show you the limits of such bullshit, I’ll write this post, to tell you about a famous comic series sold in north Indian markets which a stumbled upon this week.

The comic series is called ‘Nagraj’. Nagraj is a name for our superhero. The name Nagraj, Literally translated into English is ‘Snake-king’ (Sanskrit: Naag – Snake, Raj – reign). This is India most popular comic series. I must admit, the author of this series has some balls. This is the worst kind of imagination and lack of creativity I have witnessed.

Here is the trivia: (All the information given below is obtained from ‘Nagraj’ website)

1. According to legends his other powers evolved when he was treated with ashes of a dead ichchhadhaari(wish holding*) snake. In hindu mythology, Icchadari snake is a person who after 1000 years of living in a cursed state in form of some rock, is released back into the world. In reality the fact was that Nagraj was much more poisonous than any species of snakes because his venom was celestial.

My comments:

This part is understandable. every superhero needs some kind of story for his supernatural origin. Over here the author has written the story based on hindu mythology, an obvious choice for reasoning for sake of harnessing the super powers. I mean, when you mention the word celestial, no scientific explanation is needed, which relieves you the trouble of explaining all the chemistry, physics and radioactive mumbo jumbo. You get straight to the business, i.e. fighting criminals.

2. Nagraj has a number of powers like superhuman strength, poisonous breath (vish-foonkaar) and bite, instant healing powers and of course, snakes who come out of his wrists separately or make interesting shapes like ropes, parachutes and many other depending on his imagination. (Note : poisonous breath is enemy specific, i.e. it only hurts his opponents)

My comments:

Superhuman strength is the foundation of a superhero, most of the superheroes have it.

The next is the ‘enemy specific poisonous breath’. Obviously, one can find it difficult to comprehend that, when you exhale poisonous air out of your nostrils, how can it be enemy specific at all. But such doubts are answered when they mention that his power are celestial, i.e. no scientific explanation is needed for those who believe in god. For those who don’t believe in God, please read the bible for clarification.

Poisonous bite follows from his name itself, ‘Snake-king’. I mean, there’s no point calling a person 'snake-king' if his bite isn’t poisonous.

Snakes who come out of his hand and make ‘interesting’ shapes like ropes (as if they aren’t shaped like ropes already, gimme a break) and parachutes . Snakes forming a parachute(what bullshit?) – yeah I know exactly what you are thinking. How annoyingly interesting can you get!

3. He is a superhero blessed with the powers of snakes. Millions of snakes reside inside his body, in micro-form. Weapons do no harm him as his micro-snakes instantly heal the wounds.

My comments:

Snakes residing inside his body in micro form. This is no surprise. I am sure there must be millions of body cells in a normal human body which look like microscopic snakes, for example, the sperms. Yeah, to have sperms which can heal your wounds, now that something.

4. Over the years Nagraj became powerful enough not only to pick up falling cars singlehandedly but also achieved feats like throwing things in outer space quite effortlessly.

My comments:

Throwing things in outer space quite effortlessly (here ‘things’ necessarily imply everything) –

I really can’t think of any comments. I mean the author has taken all precautions to make sure that no superhero from any other comic (Indian or Foreign) edition can ever weigh up to this guy.

And what the hell is a falling car? I have never seen one.

5. It is notable, and perhaps ironic, that Nagraj has now been transformed into a mythical-magical creature facing fantastical creatures as his enemies, with elements of sorcery/magic and even time and space travel.

My comments :

Oh yes it is ironic. And not just this part. In case the author didn’t notice, the whole thing sounds ironic to me, right from the beginning of his nutcase storyline based on hindu mythology.

6. Powerful snake friends live inside his body, who also posses superpowers.

Saudangi : Friend-lives in his body

Sheetnag kumar : Friend-lives in his body

Naagu : Friend-lives in his body

My comments:

Living inside his body is okay(remember he is a celestial being). Why the hell does he need powerful friends anyway when he can easily toss things out in space.

The whole point in creating this comic is, to make sure that in every hypothetical situation, wherein criminals do their evil activity, Nagraj must always have some or the other superpower to combat them in not more than three pages in a single comic issue. That way you can include lot of different criminals and variety of plots in a single issue of 30-40 pages.

My word to the author : I congratulate you on successfully exploiting and harnessing the poor IQ of Indian population. Making money effortlessly is definitely more appetizing prospect, than throwing things effortlessly into outer space.

My word to the readers and fans of Nagraj: Fuck you idiots, and fuck your intellect. Can’t believe you fall for such pigeon excreta like ‘Nagraj’.

Countryside macadam

I never believed in teaching profession. In my opinion, a person who wholeheartedly yearns to learn or study will eventually* do so without any coaching (by getting into books). And for a person who isn't interested in learning anything at all, he should promptly castrate himself. Those who aren't interested in learning the things being taught by a teacher, and have some better things in mind, shouldn't even bother to listen no matter how good the teacher is. So no one really needs teacher no matter how proficient he or she is. Personally I never needed a teacher so far, but teachers were thrust upon me as I had to attend some or the other college and study something.

And despite my above mentioned sentiments, I am into the profession of teaching... obviously not by choice. I had a very limited options after graduation in Mathematics, and as long as I don't obtain necessary academic credentials, I would have to wait for the job of my preference. And so I became an interim teacher of maths, and will continue to be one, at least for a couple of months. My first assignment was to conduct lectures in an Engineering college in Shirpur for about a month. Shirpur, a small town located well out of urban limits, is the place where I held my first (and hopefully my last) course, among students from interiors of Indian plateau. And these people have a very different upbringing and culture compared to the spoiled brats of the city like me.

All the time during the journey I couldn't help feeling pissed. The impression I had was that in my life's first professional lecture itself, I'll will be pitted against 200 wild stalwarts all straining their necks to make a mockery of me in class, crack jokes at me, pass comments behind my back, jeer, and walk out of my lecture. The way along the journey, I couldn't ignore the butterflies in the stomach, knowing that this countryside student crowd usually does the above mentioned things in any rookie lecture. Again there was that old cliche I had heard from my own teachers that the first professional lecture really squeezes one's nerves out and that its natural to have a fucked-up first impression. Also, I was influenced by the old proverb, 'life is not a bed of roses'. What the fuck was I going to do?

The arrival in Shirpur was smooth. The village itself was a blend between contemporary housing style and modern concrete settlements. There wasn't even a germane restaurant or any place serving apposite food to city based visitors. But the hotel accomodations were really luxurious. Travelling arragement from hotel to college were fluid. The college staff itself was very congenial. And all commodities very chicken feed cheap. But for me, all the granduer was overshadowed by the nerves.



On the first day, there were a very few students, and hence my scheduled lecture was postponed till the next day, which was relief. But I knew I wouldn't be able to keep on running away and that some or the other time I had to face the students. My days in military school taught a very helpful tact. If you want to learn swimming, the best way to do so is to jump in the water right away, and get the fear out of you. And the same applies to everything else. And so, despite feeling apprehensive I asked my seniors not to bother introducing me to the class as I wanted to do that honour myself( ...there is nothing honourable in my introduction).



And then came the day when I had to conduct the lecture. As I made my towards the podium, I could feel pupils staring at me with a who-the-fuck-is-this-oaf kind of look on their face. One of my senior colleagues was sitting amongst the students too just to make sure I'd be able to handle the class. I suspect he wanted to check out, whether I was really able to conduct a proper lecture. And then it began... O horror!



I was surprised at the pitch of my own voice. To my delight I spoke loudly and clearly, without stammering. I sounded confident to myself. I kept my introduction short... just two sentences (I never like to boast about myself) and started with the topic. And after a while I noticed that the students were actually listening and not dozing off. This was a positive sign again. As the time wore on, I became more and more confident and started taking occasional detours in the lecture reminding myself that I shouldn't be carried away. The fact that I knew everything about my topic in and out, provided me with the necessary anchorage to conduct the lecture without making any kind of mathematical blunders. After a couple of minutes my senior colleague realized that I wouldn't be needing any help now, and he left. I myself felt, it had been very silly of me to have feared this moment, as there was really nothing to be apprehensive about. A few students even asked question, which was again nice, as they actually bothered to think over the things I was barking out. I finished the lecture without having encountered too much disturbance.



I was happy with my first lecture (as I didn't screw up nearly as bad as I first anticipated myself to do). Whether the students actually enjoyed my lecture or not, I have no idea (and honestly I don't care). I didn't make a fool of myself and that was all that mattered to me at that moment. In my opinion it was more like sharing my knowledge with them, and less like coaching.



With the anxiety extinguished in my very first lecture, I couldn't help enjoying my sojourn in Shirpur. The food and travel was free and unlimited, and although there was nothing much to enjoy in the village it was still like vacation and relaxing all the time. As days passed by, I realized that my lectures were getting increasingly boring (I could make out from the students' contours) but I didn't really care as long as I got the content right. As Aristotle had quoted, 'a good teacher is a person who tells the truth to his students, irrespective of his engagement skills'. Personally I would never have attended my own lectures, as I have seen my lecture videos. I know that my lectures are truly boring, very prosaic and totally unimpressive. As it is many people just hate maths, although I don't understand why.



But it was the time outside the college classroom, that I enjoyed the most. As the students were of my age group and in fact from the same batch, we got along well. I myself felt very awkward that they were addressing me as 'Sir' all the time. I played volleyball with them on few occasion ( they had to tolerate me, as I could never hit the ball right). I made a very good friends out of a couple of students there. I spent evenings at their hostel rooms along with my senior colleague, often watching movies and shows on their computers amongst other things like gym. Being an ardent birdwatching aficionado, I took a huge delight in spotting exotic Indian birds (like the Oriental Magpie Robin) which were aplenty in the college vicinity. Even the weather was quite pleasant and much soothing compared to city atmosphere. And I broke my two-and-a-half year long abstinence of alcohol and indulged in vodka along with my company colleagues on 31st midnight (I was astonished to find out that all the major liquor brands were actually available in a remote place like Shirpur, where there was no proper restaurant... I guess thats just Indian culture).



Shirpur experience was a rapturous one. I got rid of my podium fear for good, and had a nice break from the monotonous city life as well. I'd definitely want to go back to Shirpur some day, but certainly not as a faculty. Walking down the country macadam was very pleasing.

The upper circuit

It's evident from Royal's(present pet) health, that he's gonna be at the beach bungalow now, and will never be coming home. Its three months now, since I got my own floor(which now looks as good as my own place). But a dog is something that I really pine having around. I had been brought up with dogs all besides me, ever since I was born. Now I have the incentive to get myself another pet, as I find quite difficult to live without that. Getting a new pet is inevitable. But what kinda dog I must look for, I am still dithering.

What kinda dog do I need?
I hate poodles, chihuahuas and pomeranians. They look like little pussy suckers, who can be kicked away very easily by muggers, never dare to bite, bark like an irritating truck horn, and resemble a football. They're, in my opinion, classified as exhorbitantly homosexual breed and canine designer accessories for women.

I want a big and impertinent looking one. One who never buries his tail down under, and has a considerable height compared to street dogs. He should be able to cast a ferocious look when time calls for it. Most crucial element though is the dog's intelligence (I call it the Upper circuit rating).

No matter the vex, I have shortlisted a few breeds which I would like to buy... here they are:

1) Alsatian (German Shepard):

The advantage for having an alsatian as a pet is that he is massive in size, dark in colour accompanied by think body hair(which gives him a menacing personailty), has a kind of voice which can silence all the animals in 20 meter range, is very affable to his master, complaisant with his master's friends, bites like a tuatara, and is awfully clever. Alsatians are also among the cheapest in exotic breeds available in India.

But then again, alsatians have poor sniffing ability compared to other breeds like labrador and doberman. As for me, I grew up with three different alsatians, one after another, over the last 17 years. I want to try something different now.

Upper circuit rating : 7/10

2) Fox terrier:

Probably the most crafty dog around. This fellow has a very innocent look with flakes of hair sprounting out from his face. This look is full of deciet. Within, this dog has a very monstrous frame of mind, and an truancy of conscience. Built with a very brutal attitude, and disrespect towards friends and foes alike, this animal loathes creatures of every kind; dogs, humans, cats, birds, women, and anything else. A very bad idea if you want a loyal and allegiant pet. But his shrewdness and ingenious upper circuit can come in handy. He can operate doorknobs and light swithches, can outsmart rats and other pests , open car doors and honk horns, and bite at right places in case of a burglary situation.

Upper circuit rating: 9.99/10

3)Boxer:

A mixture between a very large dog, and a dog of average height, this fellow has scanty body hair, thick set of muscles wrapped around his body, and friendly contours. Sense of smell is average and intelligence is better than many other breeds. A very likeable dog, showing congenial attitude towards house members. Doesn't lose temper easily. He has a very strong jaw and a powerful bite which can virtually handicap the victim. Very easy to train as compared to other dogs.
But he has a heavy appetite compared to alsatians. He can be very expensive, and difficult to trace a good pedigree.

Upper cricuit rating : 8/10

4)Doberman:

A very common pet in earlier times. But lately, people opt for other options given his frail features, and savage contours. The body size is smaller compared to street dogs, and the face is tapering, with skiny aspects. Never mind the appearance, the dude has a magnanimous strength within him, and an equally adamant and resolute crasis when it comes to his work. He has a very unyielding attitude, but literally worships his master and is utterly loyal. Despite his size, he posseses enough in his tank to see of any kind of hurdles pertaining to overpowering opponents and assailants. He has acute senses and sharp intellect. A brainy chap. Top choice for home gaurds

The only concerns are his looks. He looks like the Skeletor from 'He-man'.

Upper circuit rating : 9/10

I'd love to get myself dogs from other breeds like Border Collie, Irish wolfhound and King Shephard. But I am after all a poor man.

Upper circuit rating for other canine families:

Dalmatian : 7/10

Rottweiler : 7/10

Golden Retriever : 7/10

Labrador : 6/10

Great Dane : 6/10

Spitz : 5/10

Lhasa Apso : 4/10

Bulldog : 3/10

Cocker Spaniel : 2/10

Pomeranian: 0/10

Dakshin: 1/10