Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tax Payer

Squeezed by taxes

In my country, India, majority, i.e. more than 50% of the population is poor. By poor, I don't mean that they face shortage of basic necessities, like the people in Africa but rather, they are poor compared to the standard of living in other countries. Since they enjoy majority, they always elect a government which favors them. The elected government however, rather than actually working towards the emancipation of poor, just creates a hallucination of hope for them, making them believe that the government is their own.

It is easy to befuddle and woo such illiterate men, and polarize their votes, by announcing reservations in jobs and colleges for the poor, making bombastic schemes for employment and declaring subsidies. The truth is, corrupt politicians never let the benefits of such schemes reach the poor.

And truly you can't expect them too. It is impossible to eradicate poverty in the world. Poverty is a part of life, and has existed since the origin of mankind. No government can make everyone rich. I agree that in some nations the poor enjoy many benefits and their standard of living is higher than their counterparts in poorer nations. But their better living standard is actually obtained at the expense of other nations. Moreover, I think the existence of poverty completes the home of mankind, as without poverty people can never enjoy being rich.

But the real victims of such cozening government attitude and cheap election tricks are not the poor but the bourgeoisie like me.

The government generates subsidies and provisions for the poor by taxing the middle and the higher class. And as usual, the upper class elites always have a way of evading taxes. The lower classes of society hardly have to pay any taxes, and no one gives a damn if they fail to pay. But we, the middle class always have to abide by the laws and pay for running the nation.

Although at first sight the population of educated working middle class seems like a modicum compared to the vast poorer section of the country, the truth is the middle class actually runs the country and its economy. There are several medium enterprises which control most of the inland economic setup, and also many middle classed professional form a large part of the industrial and clerical work force in the country. Exports and imports in the country are shaped by medium capital industrialists, and the nation thrives on their success.

Ironically, we are the most heavily taxed. Taxes are paid on every unimaginable details of our incomes and benefits. For small manufactures, taxes are to be paid at every level of the production processes. We pay it duly because of the tough enforcements on us.

And for all this, we get nothing in return and are made to hear that silly quote, 'ask not how your government fucks you up every time, but what you can do for your country'. The jobs are reserved for either the wealthy by their influence, or for the poor by the government, while the qualified middle classed youngsters have to struggle at every stage of their career.

Coincidentally, the middle class is responsible for a major chunk of government revenue. And even if we are discontented with the government, our votes don't matter because we are a minority, despite our best efforts to contribute for the nations wealth. This is one of the reason why democracy doesn't work in India, because a very few people actually know what's good for their nation, and poverty-stricken masses are easily swayed by mesmerizing political games.

One of the most obvious examples of tax injustice by the government is the 'Property assessment tax'. This is a duty charged by the government for living in a metropolitan city. The taxing is such that the one who starts living in the city has to pay duty on the residential area he owns. However, the tax to be paid is according to rates during the year of construction of your house. The earlier settlers and slum dweller have to pay something like Rs.5 every year, while those who have settled recently have to pay around Rs. 80,000 per year. This tax makes it harder for able men to start their own home in the city, and deprives them of a major portion of their income. The conditions of this itself tax are a joke.

As of now I am a tax payer, because of the tough regulations, but I plan to evade taxes in the later part of my career. The fact that I don't want to be a tax payer is because I don't want my hard earned income to go into the hands of some obese rural asshole who will spend it on third grade liquor at weekends. Its not that I don't love my nation. I am prepared to take a bullet to protect my countrymen as I have said in one of my earlier posts. But as far as the government is concerned, it does not protect the interests of people like me, and so I am obliged to protect my interests with a bit of selfishness and be intolerant towards the prejudice.

Pain in the ass


Friday, September 4, 2009

The popular Hindi movie brand : Mithun

For those of you who haven't heard of Mithun Chakraborty, he is a film actor/ action hero who has produced and acted in films meant for those people whose skulls have cobwebs inside. Despite making totally senseless, cheap and embarrassing imagination based films, he is very popular among the rural folk of India. The action scenes in his movies defy all the laws of physics of this planet (as well as any other planet).

He is equivalent to Chuck Norris of Hollywood. Most of his stories are typical. But the reason he remains my favorite actor is, that unlike other top Indian movie makers who use innovative idea and spend millions on new films, this guy just exploits the poor film taste of majority of rural Indian population, and banks in on all their wealth with his inane movies, and earns more than many other prominent film makers. This post offers you an insight into 'his type' of movies, as well as the sorry state of film industry in India due to the nature of brainless viewers.

Mithun may have been a protagonist of 400 films according to you. But after a little research you may notice that each of those flops cost him about 50 lacs (500 thousand) in making, while his sale all over India was about 1 core. That's 50 lac net profit per film. No wonder he didn't stop making any more. But that the way it has been with Indian cinema, when more than half the viewers are from rural terrain. He earns less on one film compared to other big movie makers, but those guys make one film in each year while he makes 20.

Mithun Chakraborty in one of his hits films. From his appearance you can imagine what a film this would be. But considering it was a super hit, just try to imagine what kind of audience India has.

Which goes to say that the films are made for their taste, and not for art, creativity, or for people who bother to read my blog, and even for those who don't. In any case its much easier to satisfy their taste when one follows a certain specific rules, and then any motherfucker can mint gold out of an average Hindi movie. This is how it works :

Rule 1:

There are only three kinds of police officers in India : The commissioner of Mumbai, the Inspector, and the Havildar.

The commissioner of Mumbai is a God of all police force in any part of the country, and is necessarily known as 'Anupam Kher' (type cast actor) in real life, and no being is superior to him. He even looks after the entire defense forces of the country. To be eligible for the post of the commissioner, you need one and only one, very good looking daughter, who must be a virgin, and must have completed education from US.

The inspector is the next rank after the commissioner, and is most often a young man, with one widowed mother(though not necessary). He spearheads and entire operation, right from gathering intelligence, planning, and executing commando ops, fucking the commissioner's daughter, and he has to do that all alone with a single 6mm pistol(which of course as unlimited bullet supply), although except on very rare occasions he may use a Carbon Sub-Machine gun, which however cannot be issued to him directly by the police, and he must snatch it from an ill trained thug.

The havildar (private) is virtually no one, and is prohibited from using hand guns, and must resort only to sticks. He mostly does the peon work.

Rule 2:

If you don't want your movie to be a total flop, you must feature Jonny Lever (a prominent ut silly comedian overused in many Indian movies) in the film, for cheap comedy scenes. Unless of course its a Govinda film. In that case it will be a total flop nevertheless. (Govinda is a well known actor in Indian cinema industry whose films are very popular among all the convicted prisoners in the country, and they are one of the top entertainment means in prisons)

Rule 3:

Your film must have songs, and those must necessarily be highly embarrassing for viewers to listen and watch. All of them must be sung by Lata Mangeshkar (a stereotyped singer), and other idiots. Dances are compulsory and there must be at least one sequence shot in Canada or New Zealand. Otherwise your movie will be flop. Unless of course if it is a Govinda movie. Then it will be a flop anyway.

Rule 4:

If you sign Govinda for your film, it will be a big flop no matter what you do. But in case you happen to sign Mithun along with Govinda, then you can cheer. Because you will at least earn 50 lacs from Mithun's fan club no matter what you include in your films.

Rule 5:

There is no such thing as sex in a Hindi movie. In any case, if you want to include sex, then you must substitute the sex scene by a stupid song. Sex is reserved only for Hollywood products.

Rule 6:

In Chinese kung fu movies, people jump from the 10th floor of a building to the 1st floor. In Indian movies, people jump for 1st floor to 10th floor.

Rule 7:

There is one and only one way to escape from a prison cell. Start a fight with your cell mate. The cop will open the cell door and come inside. After that, Bingo! You overpower him with one smack. Get out of the cell and over power all the other guards, since they are all Havildars. Havildars are very easy to overpower. They are just cosmetic cops. Then you steal a prison vehicle and flee.

Rule 8:

There must be a rescue sequence in the film, where the protagonist rescues the heroine. You see, without a rescue sequence there can be no love between the two, and it would be a flop film to begin with. But indeed, if it is a Mithun film, you needn't worry about love, as the girls will already be in love with you even before the movie begins.

Rule 9.

Cops always arrive in the end, after the protagonist has silenced all criminals. But in case you forget that and cops arrive in time, they must inevitably die at the hands of bad guys. Don't worry though, since cops most are Havildars, and hence very easy to kill.

That's about all I think. As for the rest of the matter in the film, you can put fill any crap. If you film follows these rules it will be a hit for sure. However, if you substitute any or all of these rules for Mithun Chakraborty in your film, it will be a super hit. And that is irrelevant of the role Mithun plays in the film. He can be anyone, the protagonist, side hero, side kick or he may prefer playing the father of the heroine, or even the heroine herself.