Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Balls Galore

"To be utterly common is itself extraordinary"
- Osho Rajnish

I don't like this Rajnish guy at all, and I don't even support any of his views because he is a big fraud. But I agree with what he says about street dogs. Street dogs are the most extraordinary among all animals, not just because they are utterly common and quiet abundant, but also awfully smart. To prove my point I would like to adduce to you some circumstantial evidence to support my views, unlike our dear friend Osho of course, who just said "I am God", instead of making any sense.Firstly there is no dispute among anyone that dogs are the best among all mammals, and even in some aspects better than lesbians. My aim is to convince the reader that street dogs (gavthi) are better than any other breed, in all attributes.

1. They have straightforward rules of engagement

Admit it. People these days talk of animals going extinct. Why? Because those animals are morons, unlike street dogs. Street dogs sure know how to multiply well enough. They have a pretty 'get to the point' approach in breeding.

Find a female, smell her ass, and then invade the pussy. I mean other animals have ridiculously complicated laws of courtship. Spiders and bugs have to perform tap dances, while tigers have to keep growling, and peacocks have to expose their beneaths. Dogs dont need to masturbate every now and then like me either.

2. They are often politically correct

This has been proven by many experts that dogs bark at the right people. Even Abraham Lincoln used to take advice from his own dog who would then respond with a bark. Now rather than saying anything more I'd like to show you rock solid evidence of my hypothesis. The following is the pic I have promptly captured.

The image shows a dog shitting right next to a MNS party flag. Being a true Mumbaikar, this dog shows contempt for Raj Thackeray's views. This itself proves my conjecture.

3. They own the place

Now come on. You know this as well as anyone else. They own the place. They can go anywhere without being asked questions. They can do whatever they want with their stuff. They'll make bed anywhere they want, whether we like it or not. Here again I would present few pics to abet my views.

4. They know very well whom to appreciate

I asked one of the sagacious members of their community to opine on Naomi Campbell, and this is what he had to say to me...

(Go and kiss mothers behind)

5. They never bother people unnecessarily

Face it. We need to learn something from the dogs. I mean have you ever seen a street dog bother you. They just treat us quite passively, and have certain amount of indifference to human affairs. Because they know very well that they are of a little account to us, and so rightfully keep out of our way.
But not us. I mean asking an excreta like Pfr. Potadar (if ever there was worse professor) to teach Math students Java is really too much for any Ruia college student.
Most street dogs always comply and cooperate with humans around them for better living. Here is an example...
The clean surroundings indicate the street dogs appreciate the herculean efforts taken to clean the road.

All these things add up to convey that street dogs are indeed the most acceptable and favourable fauna in our environment. If you think otherwise or that you still remain impervious to my manipulative skills, then you are cordially invited to post your comments.
Thank you.


mullettomaine said...

They do seem like noble creatures in a sense. Have you ever been to America? If you do visit Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco and you will be witness to the human version of street dogs. I was one once. I will be describing it in full detail in one of my future posts.

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