Coconuts

We know that some superhero movies based on comics suck like anything. I mean If you have watched The Hulk and Superman, you would know what crap I am talking. Nevertheless, compared to superhero films from Indian cinema , they seem to be quite something. It not that they aren’t a sample of poor imagination, but just that their Indian counterparts are worst in terms of creativity.

Almost 99% of the stunts and the concept in Indian film are copies. For example, Krishh, India’s first modern day superhero film, and a super-hit one as well. The concept is copied from Ben Affleck's Paycheck, and they have given the protagonist some superpowers to combat his opponents, to turn it into a superhero movie. And of course they have added the regular ‘masala’ or spice, which a common term for hindi movie contents like songs (where people dance to convey how stupid they are), along with a love story (without which the film won’t attract any viewers, though I don’t know why the viewers in India are so shy so as to cull sex scenes, if they a make much ado about love stories).

The only genuine part of Krishh was the way in which the Superhero does his super-stuff. This guy doesn’t cast webs like Spiderman or fly straightway like Superman. He rides an invisible bicycle in air, or perhaps he can fly, but he thinks, he looks cool by pretending to ride an invisible bicycle while flying. Such a piece of shit was a box office hit in India. In other words, you get the idea that a man can sell any junk in this country.

To show you the limits of such bullshit, I’ll write this post, to tell you about a famous comic series sold in north Indian markets which a stumbled upon this week.

The comic series is called ‘Nagraj’. Nagraj is a name for our superhero. The name Nagraj, Literally translated into English is ‘Snake-king’ (Sanskrit: Naag – Snake, Raj – reign). This is India most popular comic series. I must admit, the author of this series has some balls. This is the worst kind of imagination and lack of creativity I have witnessed.

Here is the trivia: (All the information given below is obtained from ‘Nagraj’ website)

1. According to legends his other powers evolved when he was treated with ashes of a dead ichchhadhaari(wish holding*) snake. In hindu mythology, Icchadari snake is a person who after 1000 years of living in a cursed state in form of some rock, is released back into the world. In reality the fact was that Nagraj was much more poisonous than any species of snakes because his venom was celestial.

My comments:

This part is understandable. every superhero needs some kind of story for his supernatural origin. Over here the author has written the story based on hindu mythology, an obvious choice for reasoning for sake of harnessing the super powers. I mean, when you mention the word celestial, no scientific explanation is needed, which relieves you the trouble of explaining all the chemistry, physics and radioactive mumbo jumbo. You get straight to the business, i.e. fighting criminals.

2. Nagraj has a number of powers like superhuman strength, poisonous breath (vish-foonkaar) and bite, instant healing powers and of course, snakes who come out of his wrists separately or make interesting shapes like ropes, parachutes and many other depending on his imagination. (Note : poisonous breath is enemy specific, i.e. it only hurts his opponents)

My comments:

Superhuman strength is the foundation of a superhero, most of the superheroes have it.

The next is the ‘enemy specific poisonous breath’. Obviously, one can find it difficult to comprehend that, when you exhale poisonous air out of your nostrils, how can it be enemy specific at all. But such doubts are answered when they mention that his power are celestial, i.e. no scientific explanation is needed for those who believe in god. For those who don’t believe in God, please read the bible for clarification.

Poisonous bite follows from his name itself, ‘Snake-king’. I mean, there’s no point calling a person 'snake-king' if his bite isn’t poisonous.

Snakes who come out of his hand and make ‘interesting’ shapes like ropes (as if they aren’t shaped like ropes already, gimme a break) and parachutes . Snakes forming a parachute(what bullshit?) – yeah I know exactly what you are thinking. How annoyingly interesting can you get!

3. He is a superhero blessed with the powers of snakes. Millions of snakes reside inside his body, in micro-form. Weapons do no harm him as his micro-snakes instantly heal the wounds.

My comments:

Snakes residing inside his body in micro form. This is no surprise. I am sure there must be millions of body cells in a normal human body which look like microscopic snakes, for example, the sperms. Yeah, to have sperms which can heal your wounds, now that something.

4. Over the years Nagraj became powerful enough not only to pick up falling cars singlehandedly but also achieved feats like throwing things in outer space quite effortlessly.

My comments:

Throwing things in outer space quite effortlessly (here ‘things’ necessarily imply everything) –

I really can’t think of any comments. I mean the author has taken all precautions to make sure that no superhero from any other comic (Indian or Foreign) edition can ever weigh up to this guy.

And what the hell is a falling car? I have never seen one.

5. It is notable, and perhaps ironic, that Nagraj has now been transformed into a mythical-magical creature facing fantastical creatures as his enemies, with elements of sorcery/magic and even time and space travel.

My comments :

Oh yes it is ironic. And not just this part. In case the author didn’t notice, the whole thing sounds ironic to me, right from the beginning of his nutcase storyline based on hindu mythology.

6. Powerful snake friends live inside his body, who also posses superpowers.

Saudangi : Friend-lives in his body

Sheetnag kumar : Friend-lives in his body

Naagu : Friend-lives in his body

My comments:

Living inside his body is okay(remember he is a celestial being). Why the hell does he need powerful friends anyway when he can easily toss things out in space.

The whole point in creating this comic is, to make sure that in every hypothetical situation, wherein criminals do their evil activity, Nagraj must always have some or the other superpower to combat them in not more than three pages in a single comic issue. That way you can include lot of different criminals and variety of plots in a single issue of 30-40 pages.

My word to the author : I congratulate you on successfully exploiting and harnessing the poor IQ of Indian population. Making money effortlessly is definitely more appetizing prospect, than throwing things effortlessly into outer space.

My word to the readers and fans of Nagraj: Fuck you idiots, and fuck your intellect. Can’t believe you fall for such pigeon excreta like ‘Nagraj’.

Countryside macadam

I never believed in teaching profession. In my opinion, a person who wholeheartedly yearns to learn or study will eventually* do so without any coaching (by getting into books). And for a person who isn't interested in learning anything at all, he should promptly castrate himself. Those who aren't interested in learning the things being taught by a teacher, and have some better things in mind, shouldn't even bother to listen no matter how good the teacher is. So no one really needs teacher no matter how proficient he or she is. Personally I never needed a teacher so far, but teachers were thrust upon me as I had to attend some or the other college and study something.

And despite my above mentioned sentiments, I am into the profession of teaching... obviously not by choice. I had a very limited options after graduation in Mathematics, and as long as I don't obtain necessary academic credentials, I would have to wait for the job of my preference. And so I became an interim teacher of maths, and will continue to be one, at least for a couple of months. My first assignment was to conduct lectures in an Engineering college in Shirpur for about a month. Shirpur, a small town located well out of urban limits, is the place where I held my first (and hopefully my last) course, among students from interiors of Indian plateau. And these people have a very different upbringing and culture compared to the spoiled brats of the city like me.

All the time during the journey I couldn't help feeling pissed. The impression I had was that in my life's first professional lecture itself, I'll will be pitted against 200 wild stalwarts all straining their necks to make a mockery of me in class, crack jokes at me, pass comments behind my back, jeer, and walk out of my lecture. The way along the journey, I couldn't ignore the butterflies in the stomach, knowing that this countryside student crowd usually does the above mentioned things in any rookie lecture. Again there was that old cliche I had heard from my own teachers that the first professional lecture really squeezes one's nerves out and that its natural to have a fucked-up first impression. Also, I was influenced by the old proverb, 'life is not a bed of roses'. What the fuck was I going to do?

The arrival in Shirpur was smooth. The village itself was a blend between contemporary housing style and modern concrete settlements. There wasn't even a germane restaurant or any place serving apposite food to city based visitors. But the hotel accomodations were really luxurious. Travelling arragement from hotel to college were fluid. The college staff itself was very congenial. And all commodities very chicken feed cheap. But for me, all the granduer was overshadowed by the nerves.



On the first day, there were a very few students, and hence my scheduled lecture was postponed till the next day, which was relief. But I knew I wouldn't be able to keep on running away and that some or the other time I had to face the students. My days in military school taught a very helpful tact. If you want to learn swimming, the best way to do so is to jump in the water right away, and get the fear out of you. And the same applies to everything else. And so, despite feeling apprehensive I asked my seniors not to bother introducing me to the class as I wanted to do that honour myself( ...there is nothing honourable in my introduction).



And then came the day when I had to conduct the lecture. As I made my towards the podium, I could feel pupils staring at me with a who-the-fuck-is-this-oaf kind of look on their face. One of my senior colleagues was sitting amongst the students too just to make sure I'd be able to handle the class. I suspect he wanted to check out, whether I was really able to conduct a proper lecture. And then it began... O horror!



I was surprised at the pitch of my own voice. To my delight I spoke loudly and clearly, without stammering. I sounded confident to myself. I kept my introduction short... just two sentences (I never like to boast about myself) and started with the topic. And after a while I noticed that the students were actually listening and not dozing off. This was a positive sign again. As the time wore on, I became more and more confident and started taking occasional detours in the lecture reminding myself that I shouldn't be carried away. The fact that I knew everything about my topic in and out, provided me with the necessary anchorage to conduct the lecture without making any kind of mathematical blunders. After a couple of minutes my senior colleague realized that I wouldn't be needing any help now, and he left. I myself felt, it had been very silly of me to have feared this moment, as there was really nothing to be apprehensive about. A few students even asked question, which was again nice, as they actually bothered to think over the things I was barking out. I finished the lecture without having encountered too much disturbance.



I was happy with my first lecture (as I didn't screw up nearly as bad as I first anticipated myself to do). Whether the students actually enjoyed my lecture or not, I have no idea (and honestly I don't care). I didn't make a fool of myself and that was all that mattered to me at that moment. In my opinion it was more like sharing my knowledge with them, and less like coaching.



With the anxiety extinguished in my very first lecture, I couldn't help enjoying my sojourn in Shirpur. The food and travel was free and unlimited, and although there was nothing much to enjoy in the village it was still like vacation and relaxing all the time. As days passed by, I realized that my lectures were getting increasingly boring (I could make out from the students' contours) but I didn't really care as long as I got the content right. As Aristotle had quoted, 'a good teacher is a person who tells the truth to his students, irrespective of his engagement skills'. Personally I would never have attended my own lectures, as I have seen my lecture videos. I know that my lectures are truly boring, very prosaic and totally unimpressive. As it is many people just hate maths, although I don't understand why.



But it was the time outside the college classroom, that I enjoyed the most. As the students were of my age group and in fact from the same batch, we got along well. I myself felt very awkward that they were addressing me as 'Sir' all the time. I played volleyball with them on few occasion ( they had to tolerate me, as I could never hit the ball right). I made a very good friends out of a couple of students there. I spent evenings at their hostel rooms along with my senior colleague, often watching movies and shows on their computers amongst other things like gym. Being an ardent birdwatching aficionado, I took a huge delight in spotting exotic Indian birds (like the Oriental Magpie Robin) which were aplenty in the college vicinity. Even the weather was quite pleasant and much soothing compared to city atmosphere. And I broke my two-and-a-half year long abstinence of alcohol and indulged in vodka along with my company colleagues on 31st midnight (I was astonished to find out that all the major liquor brands were actually available in a remote place like Shirpur, where there was no proper restaurant... I guess thats just Indian culture).



Shirpur experience was a rapturous one. I got rid of my podium fear for good, and had a nice break from the monotonous city life as well. I'd definitely want to go back to Shirpur some day, but certainly not as a faculty. Walking down the country macadam was very pleasing.

The upper circuit

It's evident from Royal's(present pet) health, that he's gonna be at the beach bungalow now, and will never be coming home. Its three months now, since I got my own floor(which now looks as good as my own place). But a dog is something that I really pine having around. I had been brought up with dogs all besides me, ever since I was born. Now I have the incentive to get myself another pet, as I find quite difficult to live without that. Getting a new pet is inevitable. But what kinda dog I must look for, I am still dithering.

What kinda dog do I need?
I hate poodles, chihuahuas and pomeranians. They look like little pussy suckers, who can be kicked away very easily by muggers, never dare to bite, bark like an irritating truck horn, and resemble a football. They're, in my opinion, classified as exhorbitantly homosexual breed and canine designer accessories for women.

I want a big and impertinent looking one. One who never buries his tail down under, and has a considerable height compared to street dogs. He should be able to cast a ferocious look when time calls for it. Most crucial element though is the dog's intelligence (I call it the Upper circuit rating).

No matter the vex, I have shortlisted a few breeds which I would like to buy... here they are:

1) Alsatian (German Shepard):

The advantage for having an alsatian as a pet is that he is massive in size, dark in colour accompanied by think body hair(which gives him a menacing personailty), has a kind of voice which can silence all the animals in 20 meter range, is very affable to his master, complaisant with his master's friends, bites like a tuatara, and is awfully clever. Alsatians are also among the cheapest in exotic breeds available in India.

But then again, alsatians have poor sniffing ability compared to other breeds like labrador and doberman. As for me, I grew up with three different alsatians, one after another, over the last 17 years. I want to try something different now.

Upper circuit rating : 7/10

2) Fox terrier:

Probably the most crafty dog around. This fellow has a very innocent look with flakes of hair sprounting out from his face. This look is full of deciet. Within, this dog has a very monstrous frame of mind, and an truancy of conscience. Built with a very brutal attitude, and disrespect towards friends and foes alike, this animal loathes creatures of every kind; dogs, humans, cats, birds, women, and anything else. A very bad idea if you want a loyal and allegiant pet. But his shrewdness and ingenious upper circuit can come in handy. He can operate doorknobs and light swithches, can outsmart rats and other pests , open car doors and honk horns, and bite at right places in case of a burglary situation.

Upper circuit rating: 9.99/10

3)Boxer:

A mixture between a very large dog, and a dog of average height, this fellow has scanty body hair, thick set of muscles wrapped around his body, and friendly contours. Sense of smell is average and intelligence is better than many other breeds. A very likeable dog, showing congenial attitude towards house members. Doesn't lose temper easily. He has a very strong jaw and a powerful bite which can virtually handicap the victim. Very easy to train as compared to other dogs.
But he has a heavy appetite compared to alsatians. He can be very expensive, and difficult to trace a good pedigree.

Upper cricuit rating : 8/10

4)Doberman:

A very common pet in earlier times. But lately, people opt for other options given his frail features, and savage contours. The body size is smaller compared to street dogs, and the face is tapering, with skiny aspects. Never mind the appearance, the dude has a magnanimous strength within him, and an equally adamant and resolute crasis when it comes to his work. He has a very unyielding attitude, but literally worships his master and is utterly loyal. Despite his size, he posseses enough in his tank to see of any kind of hurdles pertaining to overpowering opponents and assailants. He has acute senses and sharp intellect. A brainy chap. Top choice for home gaurds

The only concerns are his looks. He looks like the Skeletor from 'He-man'.

Upper circuit rating : 9/10

I'd love to get myself dogs from other breeds like Border Collie, Irish wolfhound and King Shephard. But I am after all a poor man.

Upper circuit rating for other canine families:

Dalmatian : 7/10

Rottweiler : 7/10

Golden Retriever : 7/10

Labrador : 6/10

Great Dane : 6/10

Spitz : 5/10

Lhasa Apso : 4/10

Bulldog : 3/10

Cocker Spaniel : 2/10

Pomeranian: 0/10

Dakshin: 1/10

Shirpur Diaries

For two weeks I had been away to Shirpur, a small village located in the central India, away from Mumbai, in the plateau region. I had been there to conduct special lectures on mathematics for students in RCPIT engineering college. I will write the details about my exploits in the next post. For now, look at the photos...

Dawn at Shirpur




RCPIT Entrance






College Interior





College Gardens



Boys Hostel




G4 Testing





Volleyball with students

A game called chaos

Leopold Cafe, one of the locations where the terrorists struck

This post comes a little late now, but I took my time to write this one, saving it in parts in the 'drafts', as I needed to put everything in the right words, and again I was waiting for all the matter to be cleared (at least somewhat, if not completely). On 26, November, hell broke loose on my city. Mumbai, the financial capital (its as good as the actual capital) was attacked yet again by terrorist. Its not like we hadn't encountered terror attacks before. But this time, instead of setting up the bombs, the perpetrators came out on the streets themselves, with sophisticated weapons and accessories, and attacked both the civilians as well as the police, and then later the armed forces. This was the first time the country witnessed such attacks, right in the heart of the most beloved place, the city of dreams, a place where setting up one's own residence is a dream shared by majority of the population, both rural and urban.

I'm not gonna bother to describe the details of the attack, firstly because I find it difficult to morph into words, and secondly because I expect those who read my blog to be already apprised and aware of the incident. If you don't know anything about it, then you shouldn't bother to read the post either (motherfucker). The following is my reaction to the attacks, followed by my opinions on others reaction, as well as my conjecture about the things to be done, after we have measured the remains of the day.

Why did it happen?

"...the problem my dear Brutus is not in the stars, but ourselves" - Cassius (in 'Julius Caesar')

Our people and the government blame Pakistan for the attacks. But I say we ourselves are the culprits. Everyone knows that there are a million loopholes in the security, and although people notice it every time they pass by, no one really cares to address the problem. The citizens themselves are not alert, and those who notice wrong doings, say that they are too busy to do anything about it. Yup, here in Bombay, people just dont have enough time to even wince at you, or so they claim.

'The politicians are corrupt' which is a popular cliche, is recited by those who donot bother to vote for the country, which unfortunately comprises chiefly of the educated class. And the ones who vote are illiterate, who get easily swayed by faux promises, and their votes are exploited. As if that isnt enough, the qualified people decide to stay away from politics ( and even the government sector) to pursue the American dream, and then later you can see them complaining that our politicians aren't qualified enough.

Renouned columnists who write for popular newspapers use phrases like 'terrorism has crippled the country' and 'the rise in terror' or even 'the root cause of hatred'. I suppose such columnist could have fared better in writing about the advantages of having a prosthetic penis. Think over it again. When wasn't there terrorism? The Indians have always known terror right from the early days during the Moghul empire, the British rule, the era after independence, and now again. And not just us, but terrorism exists in most of the large countries in the world, and has always existed throughout the entire history. There have been deadlier terror strikes in the country with more people killed than now. So why does this attack strike us so bitterly?

Thats an easy question to answer. The attack would hardly have had any impact if it had happened in any other city. I doubt if people would have been as much sentimental as now if it would have happened in Delhi. People from every corner of the country come to Mumbai. As I have said earlier, many look forward to settling near the city, and many more fantasize about it. Everyone one in the country has some or the other relative, friend or acquaintance who lives in Mumbai or visits the place regularly. The terrorist attack one the most popular locations of the city is hence percieved by many as and attack on the entire nation.

The only rationale for such an attack taking place, is because it was allowed to take place. Simple enough. We ourselves had offered those imbeciles the opportunity. There isnt any single entity to be blamed for this, but a collective fault, ranging from intelligence failure and slackness in domestic security to the dirty politics in the nation.

Who should pay the price?
The terrorists. And ofcourse Pakistan. But we need to address the primary issues first. As Marcus Cicero (a renouned Roman statesman during Caesar's era) had mentioned in one of his speeches, 'When a fish begins to rot, it always rots headfirst'. Thats right, it our leaders who must accept the responsibility. In my opinion, a leader is a person who is supposed to know how to do his business. If he doesn't, then he has no business being a leader. Cicero further said '... the only way to save the fish from rotting, is to cut off the head.'

The ministers simply have to go, including Singh, with all due respect. Although I admire him as a person, he is just not fit to be our PM. And Sonia is better being shipped back to Rome. Not just her, but the entire Gandhi family has failed to impress me their dirty politics(with the exception of Mr. Sanjay Gandhi) . I was convinced of her ... eh...I really dont have any word to describe it...lets say 'dishonour'... when she, for sake elections in Kerela, acquired support of Karunanidhi, who was indicated in the assassination of her own husband Mr. Rajiv Gandhi (although I don't think much of him either). I am delighted to see that cunt Shivraj Patil resign, and I honestly hope and pray to God that he may permanently depart from politics, and even hopefully the world. Most of the senior national and state ministers have followed suit and resigned.

Ofcourse, changing the leaders doesn't really solve the problem, but it is still a sine qua non for our purpose.

What next?

We need to take a hardliner attitude towards terrorism. Firstly, we need to establish a goverment body specially dedicated to external terrorist threats, which should be given a free hand to operate, and enforced by tough terror laws, and an dossier containing an en regle presidential directive that any government officer irrespective of rank or position must extend full cooperation to the members of the body, without asking questions.

The surveillance should be increased, with more officers being involved. The security measures should be sophisticated, and not just comprising of cosmetics of guns and uniforms to merely discourage the terrorists. Amar has suggest on his blog that the whole city should be mapped in a 3-D layout with structural information, and blueprint of every single building in the city being made available in a single database. We should try to make our security as digital as possible. The police weaponry should be upgraded, and a Special Response Team should be established which would be able to reach any point in the city at the seventh minute.

Actions against Pakistan

I have already made my opinion on this subject in one of my earlier posts, 'there can be no peace between India and Pakistan, ever'. Of course, I'd rule out a direct war with Pakistan(On this matter I agree with Mr Pranab Mukherjee). The fact is we don't have what it takes to run the wire. Many Indians believe, that our armed forces can easily achieve a overwhelming victory against Pak if the two are pitted against each other. Well I guess it just their patriotism that speaks, shadowing their reasoning. The truth is our army sucks. Indian army is already facing a shortage of about 30,000 senior officers (Colonel, Brigadier, and General) Pakistan have just twenty divisions or so less than ours. And remember guys, we have four fronts to protect, while technically they have just one. Again their airforce is bigger than us. They have more aircrafts than us, and even shitloads of F-18s, as compared to our stuttering MIG-21s. We do have a vast navy, but again, we have an equally vast coastline, compared to Pakistan's negligible coast. And to add to that, we also have a Catch 22 situation, since about 70% of our oil which has to be imported from Iran arrives through a pipeline via Pakistan, which they have an option of blocking in case of war. Imagine what would happen if 70% of our fuel supply would vanish in a snap of a finger. We have more to lose in this war, than what they have to gain.

But there is not need for an outright war. Rather than calling for internation pressure we must take things in our own hands. We must establish our own unit for cross border operations against the terrorists operating in Pakistan. We have our 'Agni' missiles capable of striking strategic location and terrorist camp, and we must use them. Everyone knows the location of Dawood Ibrahim's residence in Karachi (The guy has the nerve to name his bungalow 'The White house'). It should hit by our ballistic missiles. We can later offer our condolence if any of the Pak government officials gets killed(As if we are gonna meant it). We have the full right to take any step to protect our country, and we dont need any permission for that. there should be no further peace process negotiations with Pakistan unless they hand over Maulana Masood Azar, and Hafiz Sayeed to us (But then I doubt if any of the present political leaders would have the balls make such a move).

A game called chaos

When I first heard about the attack on the news my first thought was to go to there, at ground zero. But ofcourse I knew I would get to go there. But thats the way it is with me. I am totally undaunted despite the attacks. I read on one of my friend that he is now scared to go to VT station, as he goes there often, and that he doesn't trust the security. I even read in the news that many famous personalities feel scared to go out on streets. They are nuthing but chickens and cotton balls. I don't second that, sorry. I have been to VT railway station on many occasions and I will be going there again, and I did go there two days after the attacks. Despite any amount of terrorist threat, I'd still go to any place in my city, not because I am fond of getting myself killed, but I don't like the idea of terrorists, politicians or anyone else telling me where I should and should not go.

No matter these attack, I still havent lost my faith in our defense and security forces. The fact that Mr. Hemant Karkare, the head of ATS(Anti terrorist squad) ran straight into the line of fire himself and died for us, itself shows the level of commitment and dedication our officers work with. Keep in mind that we must all have faith in them, ...or else who will? There may be further terror stikes on the city, and there might be some plan being hatched even as I write. But to be afraid is to allow ourselves to be terrorized, which would only help the purpose of these militants. As I have said before, only we can allow such a thing to happen and only we can stop it from hapenning. I still feel a bit jealous of the NSG boys as they got to go on the spot, and I couldn't do much but watch. I'd still do everything possible from my side.

All of us must be ever alert, and remind ourselves that it can happen to us, and keep a lookout. We must act like responsible citizen and raise our voice. Many among us, who are well educated must vote. I have heard many of my cousins say that they dont vote, as their vote is supposed to be registered in a place they were staying earlier, and that they cant sapre any time to go there. They should probably try to suck their own dick. Your vote is absolutely necessary. It may be just one vote, but it still counts, and matters (too late for those who havent registered. The last date for application has already passed).

I wont say more than this, as I am pretty sure all of us must have talked amongst each other a lot during the last two weeks over this issue. I am myself quite incensed about it, and the thoughts never cease. I have tried to make this post as short as I could. The last thing I'd like to say... irrespect of whether we face terror, or we are in times of peace, we must be willing to make a little sacrifice (i.e. willing to take a bullet) for our country. If you can't do that then keep your mouth shut (and don't ever visit my blog again).

'Whatever you do will be insignificant, but its very important that you do it'

- Mahatma Gandhi


Gateway of India, Mumbai.

Take it easy

Here's the idea:

A guy takes a taxi, and reaches home, with his mind not in the right place. He gets out of the taxi and picks out a tattered note from his purse and hands it over to the driver. Now the driver refuses to accept the shabby currency note, and says that he won't accept a worn out old note, and tells the guy to get a change from his house. (This is the present trend in India, where people just refuse to accept old looking currency notes that are worn out or carry stains, although they are valid according to the law)

1> Now when angry, this guy hits the roof. He shouts out the law to the driver. Calls hims names. Abuses him verbally, and a heavy argument follows attracting too many onlookers on the street. Finally the driver gives in and moves on with the tattered note, and our guy has won the day. But in the process he has managed to further deteriorate his mood, and is bound to quarrel again with his family members over inconsequential things.

2> Lets us consider that suppose an elevated person, who is put in the same scenario. When the driver declines the currency note, what does he do? He tells the driver that the tattered 10 bucks is the only change he has, and then he produces a 1000 bucks note from his purse, and offers it to the driver and tells him to provide the change. Now the driver doesn't want to loose all his change for sake of avoiding a old but acceptable currency note (or better still, he has no change). He accepts the old note without another word and leaves the place.

What is the difference between the two? Both of them got their work done, but in a different manner. The latter guy redeems his aura of calmness, but the angry man has fried up his own mood.

And who wouldn't want to be like the elevated man. Everyone of us seeks perfection. We want to do all that is right. We aspire to be successful at work, to outdo others at performance, to get the girl of our dreams, and to manage our day, coolly. We want to be happy!! And the biggest fact is all of us think we know what it takes to make ourselves happy. Yeah right!

Think again. What exactly happens when you get angry? You get angry when you don't have it all your way. Thats not all. When you quarrel with someone over a certain problem of yours, it means that you don't know how to solve your problem by yourself, and you are blaming others for it. Be reasonable. No one else gives a damn about your satisfaction.

The man who fights with in high pitched voice doesn't know any other way to fight, because if he did, he wouldn't have had to raise his voice. And not knowing how to deal with your problems makes you an jerk. Its obvious that some assholes will try to hoodwink or bushwack you for their own convenience. Every damn bastard is selfish these days. And if you wish to a successful person, you must first learn to deal every little trouble effectively without disturbing your own peace of mind.

"Anger only makes things worse because it exacerbates the difficult situation and can have have a destructive impact on your relationships, your career, and even your personal liberty"
-Pegasus NLP

The man who deals with intense pressure everyday, and yet gets his job done right, knows that the key to handle pressure is not to allow it to get inside his head. Once you know how to keep your cool, you are able to think of your problems as maths problems, which can be solved one way or another. To overcome our hurdles in an inventive and resourceful way, it is necessary that we don't lose our cool or push the panic button.

What nudged me to write this?

Just couple of months back I walked into Airtel mobile gallery to complain about my mobile service to their Customer Care. I waited for quite a long time for my turn as there was a lot of crowd and their management really sucks. The woman on the counter just entertained two men who had arrived after me. I complained to her about answering to them before my turn, and she said their problem was a minor one. I lost my cool and raised my voice, saying "So is mine". All of sudden there was a silence in the gallery, and that woman was terrified, and from her face I could make out that she was almost in tears. She attended my problem with urgency and handed me the note in a matter of minutes.

I got my job done and left. But I felt really bad about what I had done. The woman at the counter did make a mistake of course. But thinking later with an open mind, I realized that there were only five people there to handle 200 angry customers in a stuffy gallery, and you couldn't expect perfect management from that. It was the company's fault that they had no proper Customer Care service.

The next day I took some time off work and visited the gallery back, and apologized to that woman for losing my temper, and she was really overwhelmed by that. She said she really appreciated that I treated her with dignity. As I lost my SIM card few days back, I went back there again today, and this time she was really nice to me, and got me a duplicate SIM card even though I did not have the documents with me. She told me to get them later as per my convenience, disregarding the regular company policy of submitting the documents before the issue of a duplicate SIM card (I wasn't aware of the policy earlier).

The experience taught me a lot. I have decided, that from now on that I'll try my best to never lose my temper and composure, and always think before I say anything to anyone. I am determined to manipulate my attitude so that I would barely be deprived of my calm.

It is a really difficult task, as anger is a second nature to many people including me. But there is saying among my natives, "Kelyane hote" which literally translated means, "It is possible if you try".

How to do it?
I am gonna make wallpaper carrying a note "YOU MUST NOT GET ANGRY" have it on my desktop ( There is presently a note on my wallpaper saying "YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING ). Next time when I feel my blood boils due to unforeseen circumstances, the wallpaper should flash over in my mind, hopefully.

The virtual world of canvas

Cornfield with cypress trees by Vincent van Gogh






I was waiting in front of MMB for my friend, when it was evident to me that he would be late(but in fact the moron wasn't even coming). I decided on passing my time at the adjacent Jahangir Arts Gallery at Kala Ghoda. I had been there before ofcourse, on two occassions to be precise... once back in 4th grade when my my close relative, Mr. Harish Raut (one of the most prominent Indian painters) had exhibited his paintings, and later in 10th grade when, soon after his heavenbound departure, all my close relatives decided to auction off his remaining master peices. But in those times, I was a mere guest, and not really interested in any arts. But now, for the first time, I entered the gallery of my own free will, although not expecting much. After entering the right sided gallery(I can't recall the name of the hall).

I witnessed massive painting of nude village women clad in translucent silky cloth along contemporary Indian countryside. The paintings were quiet large, such that the painted women were looking twice my size. It was quiet an enthralling scene, and no wonder the price tag was exceeding 70 grand. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't excited by virtue of the naked ladies or the obscenity, but the minute details which the artist had emphasised on, along with the huge shape of the more than life sized drawings. It was by no means pornography, and you'll agree with me if you see them yourself. I later managed to get myself out of the hall (reluctantly ofcourse, because I thought I'd be looking like a pervert, staring at the breasts) and I went on to the left sided gallery.

I never seen anything like it before. The paintings here were much smaller, and again of contemporart Indian era, but the colours actually seemed as if exploding out of the frame, everytime you put your eyes on the paintings. I guess it was the combination of strokes that must have done it, but the subject was quite simple, and the meaning of the scene could be clearly understood by reading the titles of each painting. There were forty or such in the gallery, and even several of them were water coloured. I then knew, why men spend millions of dollars on such paintings, as they are priceless. If I had the money, I would have definately bought one then and there(I swear I am going to make it my indulgence one day).
















Shashikant Bane's works on display at Jahangir art Gallery










It sparked a whole new interest in me and I approached the artist, Mr. Shashikant Bane, who was standing at the centre of the gallery. I told him, after looking at his paintings, I wished to paint my own. I guessed it would be difficult ofcourse, since I was never much of a painter in my teens, having never appeared for those 'Elementary' and 'Intermediate' exams in my schools. But he said it wasn't necessary, and that I could start working on painting from scratch, at any age as I pleased to do. He told me to begin with pencil sketching first and then on canvas with oil paints. The advantage of using oil paints on canvas is that you can always, make amendments to your drawing within 24 hours, and even correct mistakes, especially while you are working on faces. Water colours make it more difficult as you can't make major changes.

So I have decided, I'll be working on my very first painting from november, now that I am through with sketching and shading already. I'll be painting my favourite scene, i.e a naked girl in bed... just awake, with hair disheveled, and narrowly revealing her breasts from the matress. The face I guess will be the the most difficult part, as even a tiny bit of mistake changes the entire personality, so I will procrastinate the task till the end. And I will also add a tattoo... though where exactly and what kind of tatoo, I haven't yet decided. But I am definately into painting now. It would have been better perhaps if I were to get someone to pose for me, but I shouldn't be too optimistic about it...




























A Painting by John Fischer