Cats of the cold

"Tell me something Gaurav, why didn't you wear a tie today?"

The second panelist asked me as soon as I had took a seat for my personal interview at TAPMI (Supposedly reputed MBA College in India). I replied without a flinch,

"In this hot weather sir, I thought it'd make me feel uncomfortable."

The panelist continued, "But you could have put it in your pocket and put in on minutes before the interview began. Don't you think this would have made a better impression?"

I wanted to say something in return but didn't, as I noticed he was wearing a tie and I could make out he was himself quite uncomfortable in it. The second panelist was younger and I realized he was probably an alumni of TAPMI. I wonder if the moron would have been really impressed had he known I was putting on a tie only for the duration of the interview just to show him that I can wear a tie. But later I realized that even he might have done exactly the same thing during his interview at TAPMI years back.

I replied, "I think have dressed decently enough for the interview. If you think the tie would have made a better impression, then I probably made a mistake. But I adjudged that there could be better ways to impress the panelists than wearing a tie." He dropped the topic after that.

And this is the general trend in India for MBA interviews. Apart from the top seven IIMs, almost all other top colleges have made a sham and a corporate styled buffoonery out of the MBA degree. Colleges give more importance to the superficial features of corporate culture. They claim that during the interview they are looking for leaders, visionaries, potential mavericks, innovators, and all the similar adjectives they can find in their garbage-worth collection of self-help books.

Looking practically, each of these college has around 200 seats per year to be filled by candidates. If we consider 10 colleges like that, who can generate 2000 innovators and mavericks every year, the country would be exploding with conglomerates and multidimensional industries. Yet only one of those 2000 actually turns out to be an innovator. The rest all are only a chatterbox of innovation, leadership, and all the spectacular lexicon of explosive description of successful people.

It seems behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind that woman are 200 book writers who write about the man. Behind those writers are 200,000 readers of those shit books who try to imitate him. And finally behind them is an MBA college which boasts about the guy being educated from 'reputed' institute like itself.

Its a pitiful state of Indian education system, where such colleges attract aspirants with all their promising jargon, and bank on their wealth.

This year I screwed up in the common entrance test (known as 'the Cat exam' in popular culture, and happens to be one of the toughest tests in the world) for MBA with only 97 %ile (Yeah this is actually a poor score). I missed out on the top IIM and MDI calls by less than a percentile. And since, I have to attend interviews at the rest of the ones from of the top fifteen colleges to which I have applied to. The level of competitiveness among emerging business professional is so high that it seems murderous even for hard-workers. With exploding population, and developing economy, the race for top paying jobs might perhaps be as much tough as anywhere else in the world, but the bar for skills is being raised higher and higher every year. The aspirants' math skills are good enough to tackle any third degree problem in minutes, and the English skills are such that they speak better than the Englishmen themselves. And despite all these efforts they are still average in the Indian job market.


'To bell the Cat' - A widely used term to describe the cracking of the CAT exam



You need more than that now. You need work experience of 5 years or more, coupled with exemplary extracurricular, and several postgraduate courses. And in the end you could still lose by a margin of a couple of marks.

Looking at my own debacle I serious feel that individuals are not rewarded according to their capabilities or their achievements. Its a country where you either go in a topmost institution, or go in an institution where a stupid tie is given more weight-age than the amount of knowledge.

It reminds me of an old Sanskrit verse by Chanakya (Legendary Indian political genius and an erudite scholar). Chanakya says...

Don't live in a country that doesn't allow you self respect, honour, means of living, ways of education and self development. Quit such a country. It is not fit for living.

Chanakya is correct about the opportunities in developed contry (and I seriously feel with the same amount of hard work, I would have made it in a reputed Business school in a developed country). He is also correct about self respect and honour as many non deserving people in get top jobs by exploiting the Caste based (and totally prejudiced and vote-bank politics related) reservation schemes in educational institutions.

But I disagree with Chanakya on quitting the country.

I had read some time back in the novel 'Dune' by Frank Herbert, a principle, stating that, ' The fiercest warriors are the ones who are born and raised in the most hazardous, difficult, dreadful, and arduous places.'

This is true enough to be practically applicable. The best footballers usually hail from Brazil, where impoverished families struggle in farms to raise money to send one of their several children to a professional football school. Pashtun warriors in Afghanistan fought tanks with obsolete weapons from donkey backs, and put up a stiff ten year resistance to Russians and eventually drove them out. Even among animals, its the cats, who survive in all kinds of climates around the world (even in Siberia) that have the most advanced predatory skills, which even humans envy.



A Brazilian village kid displays his football prowess.























Its the same with India. The nature of competitiveness and breakneck competition between peers develops the personality, knowledge, and resourcefulness of a person to the utmost level. Here, most of the children have only two choices; study or be poor. Its the tough life in India that can make you a better professional in all aspects compared professionals in other nations. It is also one of the reasons why Indian are being accused of stealing jobs away from locals in countries like US. Developed countries give their citizens less incentives to work hard, as they get unemployment grants. There are no unemployment grants in India. If you cant find a job your left to starve by the government. It might be a cold and cruel environment to grow up, but its an environment on which the strong thrive.

To take positives from my CAT performance, I have secured enough to convince my parents to let me take another shot at CAT. Earlier, due to my recent drop in academic performance towards the end of my college, my parents wanted me to quit studying and join the family business which I don't want to get involved in to because I hate a marketing job. The score has restored some some of the faith my parents had in me, and they wont nag me to quit my interests and, at least for a while, and let me focus.

To be honest, I feel somehow that this score could actually do more good than anything else would have. After all, everything happens for the good, if not the best.

Wish List

When I was young, there were a lot of things that would amuse me, making them desirable. Being unable to get that one thing, I used to keep a note about it on the back of my mind. After some time and effort I would certainly manage to procure it. But after having devoured it for some time, I would lose all my interest, with my conscience picking me that the thing I coveted wasn't worth all that attention. But that didn't stop me from being desirous of such other things. It would be a continuous cycle, and still is.

But all this while I have realized that I never really liked all those things I did seek desperately, and that it was just a whim to quench my curiosity. And maybe it is like that for everything else. Any act we wish to accomplish is sacred to us only as long as we don't conclude it. After having concluded our goal, we have no further value for that. We never cherish our success, but only enshrine the effort and pluck that goes behind the success. And after that we move on to a new one.

This is the reason why I am looking for such an design for a mark that would keep me occupied and working for the rest of my life. After having concluded it, I'll probably write a book on my efforts for it. Of course finding such a thing would take some time. But while I am at that I also have a wish list about things to do in life, just like those 'optional quests' in any video game for bonus points.

Its not that I care much about such things, but I'd like to have such exploits on my archive. Here is the list of all those....

1) Slap a cop on his face in public: And I am not talking about some low rank peon, but a high ass like a bureaucratic police officer. That's not all. I'd like to slap him and bring about such circumstances on him that he'd have no choice but to ignore my intrepidity, and let me get away with it.


2) Own a rodent Sanctuary: I'd like to build a rodent sanctuary and house all the different species of rodents there. Of all the animals, I am most fond of rodents (and weasel family mammals).


I'd also like to conduct research withing the sanctuary to enable rodents to interact with humans, and influence human lives the way computers do in the contemporary times. One should find a guinea pig or a hamster in every house.




3) Beat someone up with a Nunchaku: The only time I have seen a nunchaku combat is in the movies. This is unacceptable to me, and I want to do it myself.





4) Rescue Gilad Shalit: As much as I am emotional about him, I'd like to be the one to rescue him. In any case, I hope that he is rescued soon and pray for his safety and well being.


5) Throw up a toast of bread and make it fall the butter side up.





6) Catch a snake by it neck: I have already done it once, but that was in Haffkin's research institute, and I was wearing protective gloves at that time. I didn't get to feel the snake's skin. Well next time I want to do it in a jungle. I'd like to wrench a snake off the tree by his throat.


7) Learn Japanese: I know. This one is the most implausible of all my fantasies.





8) To learn punch a hole through a wall with bare fists: I heard it can be done if in case its a single brick layer wall, and if you manage to hit the right spot.






9) To hunt a Russian Tundra wolf: Hunting would be my favorite sport if I ever start with it. But I do want to start hunting one day. And after having hunted, I'd like to fry and eat the meat in a camp in the middle of a snowy forest.


10) Have a collection of my poems published and sold in book stores: Yeah this is again a difficult one. I have written many poems, but most of them are too childish to publish.

Chinglish

I am a big enthusiast of foreign languages and I wish to learn and get fluent with as many popular languages as I can. So far I have only learned beginner level German and Spanish. Since being involved in the process of learning new languages for two years, I have realized the most common mistake people do when they learn languages. They try to learn all the new language by translating it, word by word, into their own native language. This is exactly the worst thing you could do to learn any language.

The reason is, all languages follow totally different rules for conjugations and have many concepts for which there is no direct or parallel analogy to any concept in your native tongue. For example, in English, the verb endings change only according to the tense and are independent of the gender of the subject. In my language, Marathi, the verb endings depend on both tense as well as gender. An Englishman, if ever endeavors to learn my language, will probably go nuts in trying to grasp all the verb endings, since there is no direct translation for it in English. (Among all languages, English has the most oversimplified rules for conjugations, which makes it very easy to learn compared to other languages)

The best way to learn any language is to start from scratch, just like you learned your own language in childhood. From actions and cues you try to grasp the meaning of words. Direct translation can have horrible effects, as often seen with Chinglish.

Chinglish is a word for "Chinese English". The Chinese language is a pictorial language. It has a different base. I have seen small English words which, when translated into Chinese become longer than a sentence, while sometimes a long sentence in English may have be relatively two or three characters long in Chinese translation. Obviously, as a Chinese guy if it try to translate all my sentences in English, word by word, it'd actually change the whole meaning.

And we altogether get a new language, 'Chinglish' which makes sense only for the Chinese. Chinglish is being employed by Chinese government and is ubiquitous now in all major cities. You can see all the signs and notices addressing you in Chinglish. Seriously, the Chinese really need a break. I mean these guys cant even hire some decent (or even average English speaking guy) to get all their language problems solved. They probably don't know how to use the internet.

Check out some of the funniest instances of Chinglish below.


Selling Butter























Okay! Maybe it is possible that the company isn't selling butter after all. But I think, what they actually mean to convey is, that their butter has such a delightful taste that, it is too good to be butter at all. Understandable, it is a typical advertisement cliche.

But then again, it appears to me, as a normal buyer, that they are trying to sell their product to people who are desperate for not buying butter. Obviously if I wanted to buy anything except butter, this product might be a good option for me. However, they again mention, 'unbelievable' on the package. It means we would find it difficult to believe that it is not butter. Then what the fuck is the point of buying it. Technically, as the product only says that it isn't butter, it can be anything, even marijuana. So we don't even know what we are buying in the first place. Plainly, only retards would buy such a product. Or maybe perhaps its a new marketing maneuver, where you're selling a random product by trying not to sell a specific product. Innovative idea. It must be an IBM product.



Frustration

























It's very subtle to comprehend, but I guess they mean, "Check the fixed price of goods". However, I have no idea where 'fuck' came in from. Maybe, its someone's idea of expressing frustration and disgust at the fixed price of goods, as it enjoins any kind of cost bargaining. I suppose in China, the customers are entitled to put up their own sign boards in shops.




Blow up




















For this one I just cannot imagine what they actually mean. Or it must probably be a secret message of some kind. Either way it doesnt make sense. I mean, what the hell are those toys doing in a shop like that?




Dont touch yourself


















I fail to understand whom this sign addresses. Definitely not pedestrians. Who would want to help the pedestrians touch themselves. Also I hope that, the 'us' in the sign refers to group of young ladies. Otherwise the sign wouldn't be worthwhile. The Chinese certainly have interesting volunteers for interesting activities. The 'try out' makes me further suspicious about what they are referring. But I am sure it must be something fun.




Electric shock




















That's a fine example of reverse psychology. If you try telling a stupid troublemaker not to do something, he would exactly do the opposite, just to annoy you. As a matter of fact a sign saying "Beware of an electric shock here", would get such a person killed de facto. Hence, they have put up this sign to make sure no one gets killed. Practical thinking.




Strange juice
























Perhaps, they earlier called the juice, 'poison' or 'snake venom'. But that must have scared away all the customers. So they probably decided to upgrade the name.




Drowning























I think they must have tried to say "Be careful or you may drown". Now however, it sounds as if they have tried to put that sign for those who come to that river (or whatever) to kill themselves or try to drown their companions. Indeed, if you try to drown yourself and others by making too much fuss, you may mess up your killing attempt as it would unnecessary draw public attention. Hence, they tell you to do it carefully, i.e. doing it quietly when no one is looking.




Lift





















I cant comprehend what they are actually trying to say. Or maybe they have put it the right way. I mean it could be a legitimate warning. One shouldnt use the lift if it catches fire. Although if you're in the lift when it catches fire, you'd be dead in no time. If you are not in the lift when it catches fire, I dont think you would be able to use it anymore. It is kind of obvious. But after all, many people lack common sense (especially the Chinese) and it'd helpful if they have given you basic instructions to save your ass.




Balls





















'No kicking of balls'. This is the key principle of Shaolin martial arts. The 'Groin kick' is an illegal move in Shaolin combat. It is also illegal in almost all types of martial arts, except Krav Maga. The Chinese do well to remind us their humble traditions.




And this one is way over my head
















The Chinese need some serious re-orientation on learning English.

The second Earth: Gliese 581 D

The planet is clearly getting small for us. With global warming and all the stuff on high lately, and the population snowballing every instant, the world has become a small place. It’d have been much fun to live in medieval ages, when travels and journeys across the globe took sensible and rational amount time and not a day or two. In earlier times, some people took delight in exploring new worlds and were they were known as explorers and adventurers. Now there is nothing left to explore. In other words, for people like them, the world has ended. So we just have to make our world bigger.

We can leave the earth and move on. But where do we go?

Terrestrial planets

It is my sincere belief that one day we will go on to live on other planets as well. Planets which support life, just as shown in Star trek. However, there are many limitations. Theoretically, life can exist anywhere, since life worms develop according to the atmosphere they are in, and learn to sustain in any habitat. However, it doesn’t mean human can do that. We canonically belong to earth and hence we can survive only in earth like environment. The closest any planet comes to have an earth like environment is Mars, where there isnt a drop of water. All the other planets are either gas giants, with no place to set your foot on, or they have ridiculous surface temperatures. In fact no planet in our solar system is habitable (except perhaps Mars, where it is possible to live in a Hub settlement).

For a planet to be habitable, it must satisfy certain criteria, i.e. it must lie with a habitable zone. Habitable zone is the relative location of a planet from and suitable energy source like a star, which would be ideal for habitation, and would be capable of supporting life( i.e. capable of providing water, rocky surface, atmosphere of suitable density, gravity, planetary rotation, and most importantly a star to provide the planet with energy). It is not to be confused to be planetary habitability, a term which refers to the intrinsic factors necessary to support a civilization.

If a planet lies within the habitable zone, it doesn’t mean that it would be like our earth. Rather, there would be a sound probability of that planet being able to support human settlement. It’s still a hypothetical assessment so far, but we have actually discovered two candidates for our next earths. Gliese 581 C and Gliese 581 D Both of these planets lie in the Libra constellation in the system of Gliese 581 star, which is a red dwarf.

Gliese 581 system lies 20 light years away from us. The planets Gliese 581 C and D both were initially thought to be under habitable zone. However, recently scientists have argued that 581 C would be just outside the habitable zone due to its proximity to the red dwarf. Gliese 581 D however, clearly is a habitable planet.

581 d is super-earth planet (planets with mass more than that of the earth, but less than 10 times that value) with mass nearly 8 times that of Earth. In late April 2009 new observations by the original discovery team concluded that the planet is within the habitable zone where liquid water, and therefore, life, could exist.

Earlier, scientist thought that the planet was too cold to support life. However, the same would be the case with earth, if it were not for the green house effect which contributes significantly to maintaining the proper temperature for us. Similarly, taking in account the speculated green house effect of 581 D’s atmosphere, it would support life.

Wikipedia - According to Stephan Udry, "581 d could be covered by a 'large and deep ocean'; it is the first serious Ocean planet candidate." Gliese 581 d is probably too massive to be made only of rocky material, but we can speculate that it is an icy planet that has migrated closer to the star.

Artist's impression of Gliese 581 D, the new earth

So maybe someday people would be blogging from 581 d, soon after we settle there (assuming that the planet isn’t already occupied by 'other worldly' people). Let us suppose that we start right now for that planet right now. (Helios is actually the fastest man-made space object at 70.2 km/s or 252,792 km/h.) This means at 20 light years it would take about 85,350 years to get there. Doesn’t sound realistic.Nevertheless I believe space travel will improve exponentially with time.

It’s still early to predict. But if you were to ask me if we humans would go to live in Libra constellation someday, I’d be willing to take my chances and place a bet. Remember, no matter how stupid it sounds, we eventually will have to ditch the Earth someday, when our sun will grow up to be a red giant, and burn us out if we stay. In fact, the increase in solar temperatures (10% after every billion years aprox.) is such that in about a billion years, the surface of the Earth will become too hot for liquid water to exist, ending all terrestrial life. Of course till then, perhaps even Gliese 581 D may not exist, but we still would have to leave this world if we want to live.

Here are some few comments from the public to the news article few years back when they first announced the discovery of the second earth.

“Yeah, but gravity is gonna be a bitch once you get there.... Don't take any women because they'll complain about the 50% increase in weight.”

“…gonna suck when we find out it blew up 19 years ago”

The upper circuit

It's evident from Royal's(present pet) health, that he's gonna be at the beach bungalow now, and will never be coming home. Its three months now, since I got my own floor(which now looks as good as my own place). But a dog is something that I really pine having around. I had been brought up with dogs all besides me, ever since I was born. Now I have the incentive to get myself another pet, as I find quite difficult to live without that. Getting a new pet is inevitable. But what kinda dog I must look for, I am still dithering.

What kinda dog do I need?
I hate poodles, chihuahuas and pomeranians. They look like little pussy suckers, who can be kicked away very easily by muggers, never dare to bite, bark like an irritating truck horn, and resemble a football. They're, in my opinion, classified as exhorbitantly homosexual breed and canine designer accessories for women.

I want a big and impertinent looking one. One who never buries his tail down under, and has a considerable height compared to street dogs. He should be able to cast a ferocious look when time calls for it. Most crucial element though is the dog's intelligence (I call it the Upper circuit rating).

No matter the vex, I have shortlisted a few breeds which I would like to buy... here they are:

1) Alsatian (German Shepard):

The advantage for having an alsatian as a pet is that he is massive in size, dark in colour accompanied by think body hair(which gives him a menacing personailty), has a kind of voice which can silence all the animals in 20 meter range, is very affable to his master, complaisant with his master's friends, bites like a tuatara, and is awfully clever. Alsatians are also among the cheapest in exotic breeds available in India.

But then again, alsatians have poor sniffing ability compared to other breeds like labrador and doberman. As for me, I grew up with three different alsatians, one after another, over the last 17 years. I want to try something different now.

Upper circuit rating : 7/10

2) Fox terrier:

Probably the most crafty dog around. This fellow has a very innocent look with flakes of hair sprounting out from his face. This look is full of deciet. Within, this dog has a very monstrous frame of mind, and an truancy of conscience. Built with a very brutal attitude, and disrespect towards friends and foes alike, this animal loathes creatures of every kind; dogs, humans, cats, birds, women, and anything else. A very bad idea if you want a loyal and allegiant pet. But his shrewdness and ingenious upper circuit can come in handy. He can operate doorknobs and light swithches, can outsmart rats and other pests , open car doors and honk horns, and bite at right places in case of a burglary situation.

Upper circuit rating: 9.99/10

3)Boxer:

A mixture between a very large dog, and a dog of average height, this fellow has scanty body hair, thick set of muscles wrapped around his body, and friendly contours. Sense of smell is average and intelligence is better than many other breeds. A very likeable dog, showing congenial attitude towards house members. Doesn't lose temper easily. He has a very strong jaw and a powerful bite which can virtually handicap the victim. Very easy to train as compared to other dogs.
But he has a heavy appetite compared to alsatians. He can be very expensive, and difficult to trace a good pedigree.

Upper cricuit rating : 8/10

4)Doberman:

A very common pet in earlier times. But lately, people opt for other options given his frail features, and savage contours. The body size is smaller compared to street dogs, and the face is tapering, with skiny aspects. Never mind the appearance, the dude has a magnanimous strength within him, and an equally adamant and resolute crasis when it comes to his work. He has a very unyielding attitude, but literally worships his master and is utterly loyal. Despite his size, he posseses enough in his tank to see of any kind of hurdles pertaining to overpowering opponents and assailants. He has acute senses and sharp intellect. A brainy chap. Top choice for home gaurds

The only concerns are his looks. He looks like the Skeletor from 'He-man'.

Upper circuit rating : 9/10

I'd love to get myself dogs from other breeds like Border Collie, Irish wolfhound and King Shephard. But I am after all a poor man.

Upper circuit rating for other canine families:

Dalmatian : 7/10

Rottweiler : 7/10

Golden Retriever : 7/10

Labrador : 6/10

Great Dane : 6/10

Spitz : 5/10

Lhasa Apso : 4/10

Bulldog : 3/10

Cocker Spaniel : 2/10

Pomeranian: 0/10

Dakshin: 1/10

Phantom in real life?

After watching 'Iron man' lately (awesome movie), and most recently running into a torrent containing all the old phantom comics I used to read when I was in school, I happen to recall myself back in the old days when I used to dream of being a masked crime fighter myself. I am referring to all those masked marvels who, unlike Superman and Spiderman, don't have any superpowers. Their only means of achieving their ends is their desire to do so. I never quite appreciated those superheroes, who go snooping around some radioactive stuff, and have theirs DNA altered to fly and grow webs out of their cavities, and neither did I credit any alien samples like superman, for the obvious reason, it never looks quite entertaining when you know for sure that its more likely you'd more often come across polar bears playing beach volleyball in Bahamas, rather than people shooting lasers out of their eyes. The idea of a guy with a normal DNA structure, mastering all the arts of combat and engagement, and roaming around in shadows at night, beating the shit out of deadly criminals and having successful sex with women having equally normal DNA structure, sound more pragmatic.

These masked marvels now have their own legacy. They have their own ideology. They have their own history and they have their own world of fantasy. But I realized that even if it is possible that such a phantom can exist, just because he is a regular guy who masters death by sheer physical training, it really doesn't mean he will, and that such and idea even if physically possible is still a fantasy. Could any man ever aspire to be a masked marvel in his life, rather than everything else people usually aspire to be? Why would anyne want to fight crime wearing a stupid costume in the first place? In order to help answer this question, let us therefore try to answer a easier question, which is "Did there ever exist such a man in human history who was a masked crime fighter ?"

To answer this question let us look into the history of such characters. Now there are many masked comic characters in the world. But we will consider four of the most popular characters which are :




The Phantom : 'The ghost who walks' as called by the pygmies, is a man who is dreaded by every pirate. His descendants take on his responsibility after his death, culminating a popular belief among his enemies that he cannot die. Kit Walker, is the 21st phantom in the Dynasty.








El Zorro (meaning 'the fox' in Spanish) : Diego is a son of an aristocrat who takes takes on
the Spanish government in Mexico to protect the oppressed.









Ironman : You should really watch the movie.








Batman : Billionare Bruce Wayne turns into a crimefighter after his parents are killed by a hijacker.




The most noticeable similarity between them all is that they are masked, and fight crime for fun. But this is not really going to help us. Let us take another careful look into their other aspects. They have two peculiar similarities, which can help our cause.

1. They are ridiculously wealthy:
Kit Walker (phantom) has treasure worth billions of dollars in his skull cave. Bruce Wayne (batman) and Johnny Stark (ironman), are industrialists, while Diego (zorro) is a Spanish aristocrat.

2. They all have a close servant or friend who knows their secret:
The Phantom has Guran as his servant; Batman has Alfred the butler; Ironman has actress Gwyneth Paltrow as his page; and finally Zorro has his little brother Bernard.

Taking in account these attributes, if we look among all the famous tales published in history, we can conclude that all these crimefighters are inspired from Baroness Orczy's classic, 'The Scarlet Pimpernel'. Although the Scarlet Pimpernel doesn't wear a mask he is somewhat similar, in a sense that he is feared by all french police, and is resourceful and ingenious in planning. He is immensely rich and has a private valet called Frank who shares his secret. However, this really doesn't help us because the 'Scarlet Pimpernel' himself is a fantasy.

Now looking back at classics published before 'The Scarlet Pimpernel', we can see that the idea used by Baroness Orczy about a rich man with a loyal servant plotting against evildoers, is inspired from 'The Count of Monte Cristo' by Alexandre Dumas.

The Count of Monte Cristo is a young sailor named Edmond Dantes, who when engaged to a beautiful lady, becomes a victim of a conspiracy hatched by a jealous friend and three other rivals together, and is arrested for treason by the French government. He goes to prison, and meets a priest who teaches him the art of combat and bequeaths him a hidden treasure before dying. Soon Edmond escapes from the prison, retrieves the treasure, and thus becoming filthy rich enjoys his revenge in a hideous and deceptive manner masterminded in a cunning way against all those four men who robbed his life from him, and he eventually has them killed.

This story gentlemen, is no fantasy. Surely Dumas wouldn't be able to imagine such a bizarre plot all by himself without being inspired by a true story of similar manner, for it is always in real life that the most bizarre events happen rather than in stories. Dumas' novel is based on a story he retrieved from French police archives.

The novel is based on the life of Pierre Picaud. Picaud was a shoemaker in Nimes. He was engaged to marry a rich damsel, and could have actually married her if not for his three jealous friends who proved him to be a British spy. Picaud was sent to prison without knowing why he was arrested. In prison, he eventually found out the reason for his sentence. Jsut as in the novel, Picaud managed to dig a tunnel from his cell to another, and there he got acquainted with va priest called Father Torri. Torri died in prison, leaving Picaud with the knowledge of his wealth hidden in Milan. Picaud was eventually released from prison, and he went on to collect the treasure and return to France with a false identity. He then succesfully plotted his revenge against all the three friends in a highly brutal manner. There was a fourth friend calle Allut who did not play any part in Picaud's arrest, although he was aware of Picaud's innocence and didn't help. According to the records, this story was dictated to the police by the fourth friend, who later kidnapped Picaud and had him killed. It is not exactly known how Allut found out about Picaud's exploits in prison, because in the archives it is mentioned that, Father Torri's ghost told Allut about that. However this was not to be believed as Allut was on his deathbed while telling the police about this. Historians believe Picaud himself told Allut about his time in prison while he was in abduction. Except for the dodgy ghost mystery, the rest of story about Picaud's life is true.

Pierre Picaud wasn't exactly a crimefighter. Nevertheless many historians today believe that all the masked crimefighting stuff is indirectly inspired by him. I doubt Picaud might have realised he could have been more popular had he spent all that treasure from Milan into making a brand new Phantom costume for himself. But nevertheless his experience isn't an ordinary one, and he surely is the leading candidate for our real life Phantom.